I will always be there for you
Karkat x Depressed!reader
[trigger warning! this might make some people uncomfortable.]
Your name is (first name) (last name) and your chumHandle is dejectedDreamer. It is self explanatory. But…only to you. You try to hide your depression. Try to fake a smile where ever you go. But it has been hard lately. Ever since your mother has been killed, you have been all alone. You hate the feeling of being alone. The mental pain has been too much lately so you had decided to revert to physical pain instead. You lived on the same cold planet that the trolls lived on. You moved there after your mother died because everything on Earth had reminded you of her. So you packed your things up and moved to Alternia. It was a lonely and violent place. You lived in the middle of nowhere to keep away from all the dangerous trolls that could hurt you. You still saw some of your troll and human friends now and then. But it wasn’t enough to keep you from being lonely. You usually just sat around your “hive” as it was called on your new planet.
Today you were sitting on your computer surfing the Alternian version of the internet. You had gotten used to the troll alphabet and could easily read it. It was dark out which meant it was day time for the trolls, which also meant they would all be awake. You had become accustom to this schedule, sleeping while it was light, when the sun was harsh, and being up during the night, when it was cool and nice. You had wandered onto TrollTube, beginning to fall asleep, when you were startled by a ding from your laptop. You were getting a pester. Maybe some one was coming over to visit, and you wouldn’t be so lonely. You clicked on the chat to open it up and you were surprised to see who it was.
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling dejectedDreamer [DD] at _:__ --
CG: HEY [NAME]
DD: oh, hey Karkat…
CG: WHAT THE FUCK?
CG: I GO OUT OF MY WAY TO SAY HI TO YOU AND SEE HOW YOU ARE DOING AND I GET “OH, HEY KARKAT…” WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT SAYS TO ME [NAME]?
CG: WHAT IT SAYS TO ME IS “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE YOU AND I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU”
CG: [NAME] ARE YOU THERE? WHY ARENT YOU REPLYING?
CG: IS SOMETHING WRONG?
CG: [NAME] OH MY GOG. OK THAT’S IT. IM COMING OVER.
CG: I DON’T CARE IF YOU LIKE ME OR NOT.
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling dejectedDreamer [DD] at _:__ --
you sat leaning against your bed, tears streaming down your face. You clutched your secret ok to your chest. No matter how many times that thing dinged, you would never ever get up to answer it, you never wanted to talk to him again. ever. You hate it when he yells at you like that. He has no idea how much it hurts you. you are sure he has no care in the world anyway or else he wouldn’t do it in the first place. You were crying too much and you started to cough and choke on your own tears and breaths of air. You began to not be able to breathe and started a shaking fit. that is until someone knocked on your door.
“[Name]! let me the fuck in!”
you sat up and stared hard at the door like that would make him disappear. How he hell did he get here so fast anyway?
“[Name]?!” he sounded worried. but fuck him let him worry. You sniffed and brought your book back up to your chest.
“that’s it [name], im coming in.” wait what?
You heard a noise. Oh fuck no! he was picking your lock! The door opened and karkat looked at you with worry plastered all over his face, he took one step into the room and that’s as far as he got. You chucked your book at him and nailed him right in the head causing him to fall back and hit the wall on the other side of the hallway. You were glad you had a good arm. You shot up and ran to the door.
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE DOUCHEBAG” you screamed slamming the door. You walked back over to your spot by the bed and sat down ad brought your knees up to your chest, not even realizing what you just had just thrown into the hallway with karkat…
You sat up and rubbed the bump now forming on your head. Damn, she has a good throw. For a girl. ‘Why the fuck did she do that? I didn’t do a single thing to her.' you thought. you took your hand away from the bump and looked at it. no blood, thats good. you sighed and looked at the door. you were about to get up when your foot hit something. you shifted your foot the other way, and realized it was a book. the one she fucking threw at you. you reached and picked it up, it was open to a page and it had stuff written on it. you began to read some of it and as you read your expression changed.
“the pain on the out side takes my mind off the pain on the inside, every time I cut, it hurts but, i cant think of how sad I am after.”
you sort of just dropped the book at that point.
“oh my gog I am such an asshole….” You said to yourself.
You jumped up and went to the door and started frantically banging on it, hoping she would open up.
“[Name]! please! Please open the door!”
there was no reply.
“[Name] gogdamnit! Im sorry! I didn’t know!”
there still was no reply
“[name]….please…” you just about gave up. You hit the door one last tome and just let your fist stay there. You sighed and put your head on the door.
You stayed like that in silence for what seemed like forever until you smelled something horribly familiar. You nearly gagged on it. you know that smell all too well. You got up from the door.
“[NAME]?!” you unsheathed one of your sickles and knocked the door handle off. You dropped your sickle and pushed the door open. When you saw her you felt your blood pusher stop. She was sitting there with her left sleeve rolled up and a small razor blade in her right hand. She had dragged it three times across her wrist by the time you came in. she would have done more you figured if you hadn’t barged in.
“why should I tell you? you wouldn’t care anyway.”
If only she knew how much you cared. If only she knew how much it made your blood pusher ache to see her like this…
“[name],”you called her name softly.
she started to sniffle. then tears started to run down her face.
“im so alone, karkat. Nobody wants me, no one cares. Everyone hates me.” She curled up into a ball and started to sob.
You went over to her and sank to your knees next to her and gathered her up into your arms, tears of your own welling in your eyes.
“[name] that’s not true, I want you, and I always will.”
“no, you don’t mean that”
“yes I do”
“I will always be there for you”